


To Protect You, I Have Fallen Into Hell

by maeigaon



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Accomplice Ending (Persona 4), Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-14 08:24:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9170686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maeigaon/pseuds/maeigaon
Summary: "But, then I guess you're standing here as well."





	1. Chapter 1

They're back in Inaba, and they are calm for once, the first time in the six months since their leave, and they almost dare to forget what they have done. How many people they've hurt, all consisting of people who they cared about and loved greatly in some manner, and hoped, sincerely, that they had felt the same about them. The worst part of all, in their mind, is that everyone who they hurt was not aware of what they did, and no one was aware of how terrible it was, either.

They hoped it would stay that way.

But, for right now, they are calm, and they felt safe, staring up at their ceiling while laying down in their futon, peaceful, about to fall asleep. Looking around occasionally to see that their uncle--practically their father, better than the one they have--hasn't touched a thing in their room since they left, every figurine still on it's shelf, the TV having the same channels marked, and every other thing that wouldn't fit in their bags staying in the drawers they left them in.

Hearing Nanako play with her stuffed animals in the room next over for the first time since the early November months prior, regular texts from friends asking to hang out, having family there at dinnertime...

Everything felt normal again, as if everything didn't happen, or maybe it was just all fixed, something that they would have had no part in, but that was okay, so long as things were normal.

And then it all came crashing down at once, as soon as they heard the ring through their phone, a specialized one for a particular person, and all they wanted to do was hit "Decline" so, so desperately, block his number, even break their phone, something, anything that'd avoid contact.

Souji glanced outside of their door, finding themselves staring at the door to their uncle's room across the hall, the light going through the crack at the bottom of the door telling them that he was still awake.

They could always just _tell_ him.

They stand up, close their door and lock it, and then press the "Accept" button on their phone before the last ring.

"A little late, aren't you, Souji-kun?" The tone is light, as if Adachi's just teasing him, as if it's just a joke, but there's still something under it that terrifies Souji into an apology. "Whatever. So,"

They don't want to hear what Adachi says next, but he continues, nonetheless, in a hushed tone. "you haven't told anyone, have you?"

"No."

"Good. You still know how this works, don't you?" They can hear a light tap onto something or other, tries to distract themselves from the feeling in their stomach as the sound continues, "You know what'll happen to you if you say anything, don't you?"

"Yes."

"C'moooon," Adachi laughs, acts like how he used to, and Souji doesn't understand why, "can't you hold a conversation? Don't be boring."

"...Sorry," Souji manages, "um, how was your day?"

Adachi sighs, but tolerates the rest of the conversation from there.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day Souji thinks they will be okay (they later realize they jinxed themself), spending the majority of it with the former Investigation Team, sitting in the Junes food court and talking about plans for the year after, things they did before Souji came back and what they would do during their visit.

"Ooh, senpai!" Rise slams her hands on the table while jumping up, almost knocking something over in the process, "Let's watch a movie together!"

"Dude, they just came back," Yosuke tries to lean back, then remembers there's no back to the benches, "I don't think they want to drive up to the city already."

"I wouldn't mind." They smile, and Rise gives Yosuke a look, one that is the unspoken form of a "I was right, and you weren't," and Yosuke turns away but not before sticking his tongue out at her.

This continues for some time, a notable idea being another cooking contest (this one from Teddie, one that they all disagree with, some more polite about it than others), until their phone rings, loud enough for a pause in the conversation, and they start to feel sick.

"Sorry, I-" They stand up, pulling out their phone fast enough to where it almost drops to the floor, "I have to take this, I'm sorry, I'll be back in a minute, sorry, sorry."

They run faster than they ever have in their life, they're pretty sure, considering they end up running into a stall in the bathroom before forcing it open and closing it again. It's the safest place to ensure no one else will find out about everything.

Souji tries to calm down for a second before answering. Then their phone stops ringing.

Then they really panic, and they redial the number four times, each sent to a voicemail that they hang up on before the "Hello."

 Fifth time, no reply.

Sixth time--he picks up, there's a silence for half a second, and Souji starts immediately with an "I'm sorr--"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Adachi's quiet for a second, then he laughs, in a way that terrifies Souji, "You know how this works, don't you? You're not an idiot, are you?"

They try to calm themselves, keep themselves from sounding as afraid as they are, "It was a mis--"

"You should know better than that." Souji's almost thankful it's not a yell, "What the hell did you think was more important than me?"

Souji doesn't--can't answer, mostly because they can barely breathe in the first place.

"Come on." Adachi starts again, sounds annoyed when Souji starts to cough. "Tell me, what distracted you so much? What kept you from answering me?"

"I-I'm--"

"Don't apologize. Answer me."

"...I-I was--" They cough while trying to breathe, and then the cough turns into a wheeze. They feel like they'll pass out. They just want him to stop. "--with friends."

Adachi hums, the kind that means "What am I going to do with you," and there's a brief silence that makes Souji more anxious than when he speaks. "If they're that much of a distraction, are they really that good for you?"

Souji thinks that they'll throw up.

"I mean-" He stops for a moment, before continuing, "You get what I mean, don't you? What if that was an emergency?"

"It was--"

"It could have been," He yells, and then his voice softens again, "What if I was hurt and they got in the way of you helping me? What if I thought you were breaking your deal? You remember what happens then, don't you...?"

Souji coughs again, forces a "Stop," followed by a quieter "please."

"Do you get it?" He ignores them, acts like they didn't reply.

"Yes."

"You'll stay away from them, right?"

"...Yes." More hesitant this time, and they know Adachi picks up on it.

"...You'd bett-" There's a 'bump,' followed by a silence and then Souji hears a shift in his tone, one that only they seem to notice, "Do-Dojima-san!"

"Did you do  _anything_ , Adachi?" It's faint, but they can hear their uncle, sounding as tired of Adachi as Souji is afraid of him.

"I, um, got a little sidetracked, haha... Oh, but, um!" Souji doesn't hear the end of that thought, because the next thing they hear is a long beep, and then Souji slams their phone shut before dragging themselves towards the toilet and throwing up.

They hear the door creak open before shutting itself soon after, "...Partner?"

_Oh no._

"Y-Yo--" They try to control themselves, try not to throw up again, but they do, and Yosuke runs into the stall-perhaps keeping things hidden would have worked better behind a locked door, they realize-and holds back their hair until they're finished.

"Wh--You're bleeding," He cuts himself off, states something that would have been obvious to anyone but Souji at the moment. They didn't realize how bad their head hurt until then, really.

They put a hand up to see, and hiss from the pain before realizing that yes, they really are bleeding.

"What happened?" Yosuke helps them up, guides them over to a sink, grabs those thin brown paper towels while they wash their face.

"I hit my head, I guess." Yosuke pours water over what he thought was a thick layer of paper towels, ruins them all, groans and retries with more and a lighter water setting.

"Who called you?"

Souji opens their mouth, and then remembers what Adachi said before, then they remember that it's almost a guarantee that everyone will hate them once they find out.

"No one," Souji replies, turning their head away. Yosuke frowns. "Really."

"...Promise?" They know that Yosuke doesn't really believe them, but they nod. They consider the risk for a minute or two. Having  _one_ friend can't make Adachi angry, can it?

"...Will you walk home with me?"


	3. Chapter 3

The second half of the day they spend with Yosuke and Nanako both, mostly through arguments over the answer on a quiz show, in which Nanako is always right (she has the answers memorized from all the reruns she's watched), Yosuke is always wrong (mostly through second-guessing himself), and Souji is somewhere in the middle.

Yosuke and Souji cook together, whatever they have the ingredients for (which just ends up being things that sound good together thrown in, but it works better than, say, Mystery Food X), while Nanako sets the table once they're done, but only after the newest episode of Loveline finishes.

Almost as soon as they finish, Dojima calls out an "I'm home!" while slipping his shoes off at the entrance.

"Welcome ho--"

Souji's smile falters and the world feels like it stops again, all at once. They think that's probably not healthy for them.

Adachi follows shortly, slips his shoes off at the entrance and puts his coat up, then notices Souji's glare. "Haha, sorry I didn't let you know I was coming first! What'd ya make, Seta?"

They don't reply, can't bring themselves to open their mouth, and time feels like it slows. Adachi stares at Yosuke as he turns around the corner, and walks a little closer while Souji moves to defend Yosuke.

"What's wrong? You act like you saw a ghost." A lower tone than normal, but he looks at them like he's surprised, maybe even worried, but Souji knows better.

"...Just sit down, Adachi," Dojima sighs, walks across the room, and sits in his usual seat, Adachi following close behind.

The night passes by with Adachi saying more than he should, as he usually does, Dojima telling him to shut up, as he usually does, and Nanako excitedly talking about her day, as she usually does. Souji and Yosuke talk mostly in whispers to each other, until Adachi asks what they're keeping secret and Souji stops talking the rest of the night. Nanako goes to bed, promises she'll go to bed earlier than normal, but they hear her play with her stuffed animals upstairs within the next five minutes.

Dojima passes out on the couch shortly after, face half buried in one of the couch pillows, just before Yosuke says he'll leave before it gets too late, and Souji walks outside with him, partially to avoid Adachi longer and mostly because they've missed him.

"Partner?" He puts his hands in his jacket pockets, turns around a second to look at Souji, "...Are you okay--Well, will you be okay?"

Souji nods, not sure if it'd be considered a lie or not, "I'll be fine."

"Don't lie," Yosuke moves back towards them, "Not if you can help it."

"...I--" They turn, look at the door, then one of the windows, panic a second and are certain he can hear them, and then their voice gets quiet, they have to move closer for him to hear, "I'll tell you later."

Yosuke gives up for the time being, "Wanna hang out tomorrow?"

"Sure," Souji smiles, genuinely, for the first time in a long while, "Text me in the morning."

Yosuke nods, waves as he's walking away and almost slips on something while running home.

Souji doesn't go back inside for a minute or two, stares up at the sky and then they finally notice nothing's really visible past the fog anymore, grabs onto their glasses for the first time in months before putting them on. It's so pretty again. Something that could have stayed if it wasn't for them.

They walk back in, notice Adachi's still there, and backs towards the door when he stands up.

"You don't follow instructions well, hm?" He starts to stack dishes from the table, "Or is your memory that bad?"

"...He's just one person." They walk over, help get them all and then grabs the pan as well and the towel.

"I thought it was clear," He slams them down, Souji swears he breaks one, notices that he looks back a second to make sure that Dojima hasn't moved before continuing quieter, "that I meant all of them."

"He won't be a problem." They begin on one plate, pour a little bit of soap onto the sponge and then pass it over to Adachi once they're done.

"God, whether you think he will or not isn't the issue," He's quieter now, tone still harsh, while he dries it off with the towel, "it's that he will."

Souji doesn't reply, pretends they didn't hear it, then Adachi grabs at their glasses suddenly.

"Don't--"

"You don't need these, anymore, do you?" Adachi stares at them, folds them over, "It's not like you're going to use them for anything again."

Souji wants to grab for them, but they can't, and then watches them snap in Adachi's hands.

"There you go."

They can't bring themselves to move for a bit, until Adachi snaps at them to finish their work.

They are almost done, it's the last thing, and Souji finds themselves staring at the knife he's drying off.

They could...

It's not something they would really consider, they don't think-they don't know anymore, because they glance at Adachi and then back at the knife, and they're not too sure what their morals are anymore, or if they have them in the first place. Adachi notices, grabs them by the wrist, and pulls it from them.

"You could hurt someone with that, you know?" He glares at them, but his tone was as if he was joking. He gestures as he speaks, knife coming uncomfortably close to Souji's skin more than once, who backs away and mumbles an "I'm sorry." Adachi decides to ignore them.

He leaves shortly after with "Don't miss another call" and Souji doesn't get any sleep that night.

**Author's Note:**

> souji uses they/them pronouns in this, but masculine terms, for reference!
> 
> this is the first thing i've written in quite some time (first time in the past couple of years), so (constructive) criticism is appreciated. also, excuse the title, i have no clue how to title anything.


End file.
